I might have known. I really did know, I suppose. Looking back, even when we were on the train to Birmingham I could feel the storm brewing. GB asked me if I was excited, and I said I sort of was, but really I wasn't. After all, at best he was going to get hideously drunk before the Babyshambles concert, and then leave me on my own for the night while he tried to get the front. Then we wouldn't be able to find eachother at the end, and I'd get the blame for that. If you don't believe me when I say this is a best case scenario, you don't know GB!
At first it was good fun. We got to Brum at lunchtime, and GB was in a really good mood because we were staying in the same hotel as The View (the support), another band he likes. There was a Frankfurt market going on too, so it was really Christmassy.
It was only evening time that things started to go wrong. He had a sausage from a stall and moaned that it didn't taste right, and the beer glass wasn't right, and the alcohol was too expensive. I tried in vain to explain the concept of a returnable deposit, and he was shocked and amazed when I got £4 back off the stall-holder.
We headed towards the NIA, and stopped at a pub on the way. GB went for a smoke, and by the time he'd come back I was talking to a bloke and two girls at the next table. This is how the conversation went:
Me: These are going to Babyshambles too, he says they're not on til ten.
GB: (totally ignores me)
Man: What d'you think of the new album?
Me: I'm not so keen on it, too overproduced, too 80s sounding
Man: Yeah, bring back Mick Jones, he knew what he was doing, didn't meddle too much.
Me: I think that new guitarist is too old for them, he's making them sound derivative. Wasn't the old guitarist (to G
what's his name, going to be playing on this tour? But I think he's pulled out.
GB: (ignores me)
Man: Oh god, yeah, what's his name?
Me: You should ask him (pointing to G, he's the real fan, I'm just tagging along
GB: I don't know anything (gets up and storms off)
Everyone stared, then they asked me what was his problem. He's a bit violent and jealous, I said, feeling no need to lie to strangers. They said I could go to the gig with them. But he'd taken the tickets with him too.
So I went back to the fair and market. I actually felt incredibly free, didn't really care what was going to happen. I got a text saying was I going to the concert with him. I said no.
About 10.30 I went back to the hotel. GB was waiting for me, crying. I said it was too late, that he had wasted the tickets I'd saved ages for, ruined his birthday present. We were over.
Next day I went home alone on the train. He arrived home an hour later saying he was going to make an appointment wiht the counsellor if I still wanted us to be together. This kind of threw me, because we were finished so far as I was concerned. But I couldn't not take him back, becaue he was so apologetic, and I do love him when he is sober.
He says he will try not to drink like that any more. We'll see. After reading PinkSuki, I'm going to give it 'til New Year, and then decide what to do.
