...now that Steve is gone:
1) I can eat in any restaurant I like without worrying that there's be something there he will want to eat, set in his traditional english ways as he was.
2) My son and I (though we aren't royalty) can go on holiday anywhere we like, go to whatever places we like, without worrying about him moaning, 'we came here last time....'
3) When we do go on holiday, I don't have to worry that anyone will be drunk and obnoxious by 11am
4) I never have to smell the dog again!
5) I never have to smell him again (he was so desperately trampily stinky by the end, and he made my bed smell)!
6) I don't have to feel tense every night at 9pm wondering if he'll call
7) I can go out with friends without receiving paranoid phonecalls
8) I don't have to watch for moods
9) I don't have to spend any time worrying what he's doing when he's not with me (as in heroin, women, Special Brew)
10) I don't have to watch Top Gear unless I want to. I definitely won't watch any repeats I've already seen
11) I have less washing, and the washing won't be covered in dog hairs
12) I won't waste time looking for evidence he's telling the truth when he says he loves me
13) I won't waste time looking for evidence he's not telling the truth when he says he loves me
14) I can pay proper attention to my son at all times, without having to worry if that will send someone in a mood
15) I can listen to 'The Archers' on Sunday without anyone moaning
That's all for now, but I'm sure there's more. I'm currently reading a true-life book called 'Dangerous Love' about a girl who fell for a murderer, and the way he manipulated her through their relationship. I found myself thinking, 'she had it easy, he never hit her or was addicted to drugs!' THAT is how bad my relationship had been or had become, and THAT is what I have to remember.
I have to forget that it improved at times, and that it possibly could again if only he would stay here. Because he made his choice, and it wasn't me, which means he doesn't love me. And he took my photo off his phone, so HE DOESN'T LOVE ME. And I don't know if he ever really did. And I don't even need to care or worry about that any more!
