..at least I know where I stand. Sort of.
Went to the pub with Sue and was feeling nicely inebriated when my phone went. It was a Wolverhampton number, so I thought it was my dad, and for the first few exchanges I didn't know who it was. It was Steve.
He was stuck on the A5 and needed a lift. His mate's car had broken down and he'd turned down a lift from his mate's wife to hitch. So why was he phoning me? Anyhow, I sorted a taxi for him, and he came to the pub. With no money still to pay me. So why? Sat there drinkin a half (all he had money for), telling me and Sue he was clean, meanwhile asking us three times each what we were doing for the weekend. How we laughed at him. Then he started having a go about the 19 year old jockey, really being jealous and nasty (I didn't bother to tell him that I'd ditched him, why ruin my cred?). He was also going on about how it had all been going wrong for us, we'd 'drifted apart'. I said no, he'd taken heroin and two-timed me, that's how we'd 'drifted apart'. He was making up a story in his head to justify himself. Then he started trying to find out how I felt about him saying 'you think...' and 'you think....' but I didn't bother to respond. I told him he knew what the truth was well enough himself.
His phone went off. He answered, 'hello mate...' then left the pub. I phoned Lauren. She was engaged. I texted her 'he's trying to get back with me right now' - because he surely was. He came in. I said, 'is Lauren worried about you?' He said, 'it wasn't Lauren...' but didn't have time to finish cause his phone went again. He went outside again, and I laughed at him through the window, cause I knew it was her and what she was saying!
He came back in and told me I should grow up (he's not exactly imaginative or variable in his insults), and stormed out.
After I'd picked up Ben and done his tea, Steve turned up. Finally he told me the truth - he has been seeing Lauren, he is moving up there ('you know I always wanted to leave here but you had ties' - it's always my fault), and going there tomorrow, presumably after he's picked up his meth. He said he still fancied me 'when you're all gothed up'. Well thanks for that, straight boy. I asked him how he felt about me and he said he couldn't say or I'd be on the phone to Lauren. So I know he still loves me. For him. He don't love anyone. He kept on saying, 'I'm not being big-headed but I know you want me back.' But that's not true, I realised it as he was saying it. No - I realised it in the pub, but understood it more the more he said it. I asked him how he could have had sex with me last weekend. He said he didn't remember we did!!! Sorry, but it went on so long (and before he was tooting) that I know it isn't true.
He told me not to text Lauren, but she kept texting me. I just told her not to give him any money, for her sake. She kept on saying it was no big deal to her. I said I didn't know why he'd told her to say that.
So that's that. It's not the truth, but it's as near to the truth as I'm going to get.
You know what I think the truth is? I think his job there has ended. I think he wanted me back, because that would have been an easier life for him, but he was keeping Lauren as a back up plan (she's going away travelling in a few weeks). My actions meant the back-up plan became Plan A. And you know what? I'm glad.
