I'm sitting here worrying because he's just disappeared with £7 of my money (I gave it to him to fetch me wine), he hasn't got a job yet, he is lying about why he's leaving his phone off (saying it was a dead battery, but it wasn't, cause I checked it), and has no plans for moving into his own place that I can tell.

A big difference to a week ago, when everything seemed so hopeful. I can't support his drinking, smoking or tooting habits. Even if I wanted to. But I know a Lauren who can, even though he says he woulodn't ever hurt me again. He's a liar, you see. And I know sometimes when he's lying, and I know he is up to something, but I can't find what.

Yesterday he was totally out of it, but wouldn't say why, refused to admit to taking anything but beer. Yet we had a really lovely evening, and were up until 2am havign mindblowing sex. Ooops, gotta go, he's back I think