The holiday was really good, on the whole. The only real problem is that Steve would start drinking at about 10am and not stop til he went to sleep at night. But there were times when he was limited in his drinking because we'd be walking (we walked miles) or driving - the last day I drove from Wales to Bristol to a fantastic castle hotel, where we had a really lovely romantic evening.
Even Pontins was pretty romantic though, most of the time. Except for the usual crap where he'd accuse me of cheating and so I'd eventually throw Lauren back in his face. I really don't know how we can move on from that.
Now we are back, we've settled into this routine. Mondays are horrible: Steve is always really depressed, tries to make me feel guilty about the Dog, doesn't succeed, is quiet and withdrawn and I withdraw too as a result. He's gone to price a job just now, otherwise, as usual, he'd not give me the chance to be on the computer - I have to give him all of my time, which is another reason for him sulking - he doesn't like me giving time to my son, but I have no intention of bowing to this wish, because I really cherish the time I have with my little boy.
By Tuesday, he's usually coming out of it, although he'll often not be about when I come home for my long lunch. Wednesday I'm off work, so he's more cheery, Thursday he is fine, Friday I'm off work again, so he's happy, then the weekends are really nice, unless I've plans with my girlfriends. Then it's back to Monday moodies again - beginning Sunday night.
I'm not good with living with people. I like my own space and company too much. In a way the whole Lakes set up was as good as when he had his own flat, because I had that space. Sometimes now I do feel suffocated. I keep telling myself that this is only temporary, but he is so poor with money (and so slack about finding work) that I sometimes wonder. Oh well, I do love him.
For friends only after this I'll put on a couple of photos from the holidays
