Well, more like them talking to me.

At the Carnival there was a psychic fair, so I went in and had a reading done by a clairvoyant, who was quite definite that he didn't do 'telling fortumes', just spoke to dead people - or rather, 'those who have passed over.'

It was lovely. My grandad was first up, and he had a surprising amount to say for someone who's been dead since the 70s. He shocked me quite a bit by saying that the changes of the last three years are the best thing I've ever done (I'd have thought he'd be pissed off by the divorce, being of the older generation), and that I'm being myself again instead of being what other people want me to be. He said there's one last little bit of confidence that needs to come back, and not to rush into anything, or let anyone put pressure on me, just let things happen at their own pace and everything will be sorted by October. Which made me feel a lot better about not letting Steve move in and not getting married to him. He also said I took after him in organising people, and he was really pleased at my career, because it was getting lots of people's lives back on track.

Then my Auntie came and said that I need to talk about my problems more, and that again, in the last three years I've been a bit better at that, because of having friends I trust, but that I still hid too much, and that I shouldn't assume that family were too fragile to cope with knowing about my problems.

My brother was next, and it was very spooky, the description of him was spot on, and the psychic was saying that although in life he'd kept himself apart from other people, now he was dead he was constantly trying to be seen by the living. I've said here before that I often 'feel' him in a room, and I see movement out of the corner of my eye, which I'd always suspected was him, so it was nice to have that confirmed. My brother said that he knew how much I liked to run other people's lives for them, and try to save them (haha, he knows from personal experience!), and that I'm very good at it too, but that I need to realise that not everyone can be saved, and it's not always a good idea to even try. I know he thinks that, and I've been trying not to (I know who he's referring to as well!). He then gave the reader loads of images of where we used to walk the dog, and of my parent's house (all things that are pretty specific).

Then my godmother came and said how proud she was of me, and how amazed she was at how brave I'd turned out - 'we didn't think you had it in you!' She gave the psychic the names of her husband and our neighbours. Now what is really spooky here is that I know from the description of her and what she said that it definitely was her (my sister recognised her too when I gave the same info to her), but this woman is still alive, as far as I know. She's in a home for people with dementia.

Lastly the psychic said, 'I have a younger man here now, he's not for you, he's for someone very close to you. He's a suicide, and he says to please tell everyone it wasn't an accident, he'd been planning it for a long time. He was under too much pressure, for too long and he couldn't cope. He says he's sorry for what he put that person through, he knows now how wrong he was, and he wants to thank you for looking after them.' This was really shocking, because (as I posted Friday) my sister's ex-husband committed suicide last week.

There were a couple of people that I didn't recognise, but he was spot on with the ones I did know, and I didn't know my Mum's parents or older relatives. Mostly it was comforting, and a lovely feeling that my dead relatives know what's going on and approve of the things I've done - bloody few enough of my living relatives do!