Steve came round tonight, got here about 7, and has just gone home 'cause he's completely worn out after working outside all week in this heat. It was a really lovely night, he is damned sexy and recent blogland posts have made me appreciate how lucky I am to have passion in my life 'at my age' and 'this far down the line' (ok, I'll stop bragging now).
Nothing unusual about that, but he didn't smell of beer, and didn't drink the whole time. This IS very unusual behaviour for him.
He was talking about how his wrists were aching, and he was sniffing, so I asked him if he'd got hayfever. He said maybe, he was feeling really weird as though he was rattling. I asked him if he'd forgotten to take his methadone, which he laughed at (but which wouldn't be the first time), so I asked him if he'd been doing heroin and messing up his dosages. He said he hadn't.
So I don't know what to think. I know that after last time he hit me I told him that he had to sort himself out and that I wasn't going to be around forever if he didn't start making an effort. But then why suddenly today? He hasn't seemed like he's doing heroin. But maybe he waits til he goes home?
It's just so unheard of for him not to drink. He'll be here all weekend, so we'll see.
