I've just watched the film, and it was a bit unsettling. The rows they had were like mine and Steve's 'normal' rows (the ones where he didn't hit me). Lots of things to think about, but mostly I was grateful that thank goodness I could concentrate.

It was only when the back gate banged and I jumped out of my skin that I realised I was still on edge. It was only the wind.

I was chatting to Little Sis earlier (her ex-husband's funeral is Friday) and someone came knocking on the door. We both thought it might be Steve, but it was some bloke wondering where he was because he's supposed to be starting a job tomorrow and he's not answering his phone. I told the bloke where he is living, but thought 'best of luck', cos I dread to think what state he's in by now after a day on heroin and other nefarious pharmaceuticals.

I latched the gate after it banged, but realised he's left his tool box and level here. I've not locked the gate, so I'll know if he's gone to work, though I shouldn't care. I can't help it though. I need him out of my life, but I don't want him to screw up his own.