It's sunny here, but I can't seem to settle. It's not that I'm upset even, not as such. I'm more.... restless. It's as though I'm waiting for something to happen - and I still feel like something will happen. Steve's sister has told me off on facebook about slagging him there - not in a nasty way, but she's his sister, naturally. I'm not even angry now, so I apologised. She said we'd be back together again soon, we always are. But I told her I don't think that's true now - too much bad feeling on both sides.

In the past I've always loved him enough to eventually be swayed by his pleading. I'm not sure if that is true any more, otherwise why aren't I upset?

I just wish whatever was going to happen would happen, because I can't even read, or watch a film properly. A strange feeling.

I think I'm waiting for a definitive end.